


Hello Sexy Stranger

by ScarletRedfox



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: F/M, Greed wants his coupons back, Jealous Greed, Married Characters, Married Greed, Married Greed X OC, Sexual Humor, Smutty Marriage Games, Strip Club Shenanigans, There's a stripper and Greed doesn't like him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-12
Updated: 2018-12-12
Packaged: 2019-09-17 04:10:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16967415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScarletRedfox/pseuds/ScarletRedfox
Summary: What happens when a married couple gets bored and decide to "spice things up"? With Greed and his feisty wife (OC) Lena involved, no good can come from that.Was that HIS coupon she slid into that jackasses' underwear?!"This is the fifth ban we received from a strip club!""Hey the first two were your fault."





	Hello Sexy Stranger

**Author's Note:**

> NOTE: This is very similar to my previous fic “Hello Handsome Stranger” (Chapter 80) of my story "One Shots" on FFnet, however with a little…twist. ;) And more humor!  
> WARNING: Slightly SUGGESTIVE content!  
> CREDITS FOR THE IDEA: The lovely AzureVermillion (you can find Greed & Lena Fanart on her deviantart account, it’s AMAZING!) gave me the idea for this one shot!

The music that played was upbeat, something one would expect from going to the disco, but he knew from experience the pace would change as soon as the party started. Overhead lightning that flashed every so often was dim, more darker and cooler colors dominated the front, while at the back, where the real show was behind a pretense of bars and chairs and a dancefloor, was predominantly red.

The red from the overhead lights was dim as well, adding to the mysterious allure a place like this was known to create.

He had had his fair share of visits every so often, but he hadn’t been here in a long time.

A slow smirk stretched his lips, sharp teeth catching the bottom of his lip as he grabbed a drink from a moving tray and walked, unnoticed, toward the front.

The place was full, as he suspected a Saturday night to go. There were more men than women, most of which were directly turned to the front, gazes expectant, drunk or eager for the upcoming show.

Halfheartedly, Greed turned as well and checked his watch.

_11.45pm_

With a dry smile, Greed leaned one arm back on his chair and rested his leg over his knee, eyes fixed on the now illuminated stage, the announcer’s voice echoing in the room.

 _“And now for the show to begin! We present you the dangerous, cunning vixen for tonight! She’s not only as cunning as a fox, but also as slick, meet Foxy!”_ Greed rolled his eyes at the cliché introduction.

 _Foxy?_ That was still a legitimate name in the business? He didn’t really know the trade, apart from indulging in it in the past, but he thought they had just a bit more…class.

His eyes caught sight of a bare leg, clad with ripped black stockings up until the knee, peeking out from behind the burgundy curtains.

Cheers erupted from the crowd.

Greed craned his neck to see better.

The curtain fell aside with a grand swoop, revealing a tall, curvaceous woman at center stage, wearing nothing but an orange bra barely supporting the full weight of her sizeable breasts, small diamonds hanging as decoration from the sides of it, the thong she wore was pure black and when she turned an elaborate fox tail followed her movement.

Greed suspected he knew just from _where_ that fox tail was hanging out of.

He took a long swig of his drink.

The woman jumped onto the dance pole, performing elaborate, sensual moves, changing her rhythm to that of the song, slowing down at certain parts, rubbing her body along the sturdy metal.

Greed idly wondered how many times an hour they cleaned that thing, if they did at all.

From the corner of his eye, he spotted a small group of women entering the scene from behind his back.

_Wait, what?_

Greed did a double take, head whirling around towards the women, until he spotted a certain person among them.

Unbidden, a toothy grin made its way onto his face and Greed crossed his arms behind his head, shit-eating grin in place as his eyes fixed themselves on the stripper in front of him, feeling _her_ eyes on him.

He whistled, “Yeah baby shake that ass!” he hollered as loud as he could among the rest of the cheers, making sure the group of women behind heard him loud and clear.

He briefly heard a crash, but when he discreetly looked, nothing seemed amiss.

Then, he was brought back to the question he originally had.

Why were women here if this was a strip club solely for me-

Stage number two suddenly lighted up, a cooler shade of blue as opposed to the warmer orange and red hues where the dancing woman was and the announcer spoke again, “ _It’s 12.00am! The lovely ladies of the crowd know what that means!”_ as if on cue, all the women, which Greed realized were suddenly much more than the small group a few feet away, hollered and cheered loudly.

Glasses clinked together, some breaking, others spilling their contents all over the floor and tables and guests, joining other dubious substances.

The dark-haired man scratched his neck, just what was going on? What did that announcer lady mean?

He understood when the second curtain opened, the one with the blue illuminated stage.

Three men stepped forward, wearing _nothing_ but pathetic excuses for black boxers, black _incredibly short_ boxers and when they turned to shake their asses to the women, Greed nearly gagged into his glass.

 _“Shit, my eyes! What the hell?!”_ he felt bile rise in the back of his throat, but his disgust was immediately forgotten when a familiar voice pierced the air and shouted.

“Yo! Can handsome in the middle come over here please!? I would like a close-up view!” the rest of the female population, which seemed to have gathered suddenly _everywhere_ , cheered and screamed and wolf whistled in agreement.

Despite Greed’s own show still going on, he kept his gaze discreetly fixed upon a brunette woman sitting on a chair, surrounded by what he presumed to be her friends, two blondes and two ravenettes.

The man in the middle of the trio, equally near-to-naked with gleaming muscles and a cutting jawline, flashed a naughty grin to the crowd, one of his colleagues slapping his ass as he made his way to the forefront of the stage, while his two bandmates stayed behind to offer the rest of the ladies a show.

He was tall and broad-shouldered, with sun-kissed skin and freckles lining the bridge of his nose. He even had suspiciously electric blue eyes, with dark hair falling into them.

Greed blanched in disgust, until a delicate hand touched his shoulder and he felt a sudden weight settle on his legs.

When Greed looked up, he saw the woman, Foxy, grinning down at him predatorily, as if he were her next meal, “Hello there handsome, want a lap dance?”

Greed grinned saucily, quickly meeting the slightly irate eyes of the brunette across and settled his hands politely on the woman’s waist in front of him, his eyes darkened deliberately, his voice dripping with something dark, “If you think you can handle it, foxtop,”

The woman grinned at the challenge.

Lena’s face was a blushing mess, despite her earlier confidence. Riza chuckled when she squeaked, the man she had impulsively called out to her was coming closer and closer, his poor excuse of boxer briefs filling with money the women around her were throwing at him or stuffing them in.

She swore she saw Riza add in something too, perhaps it had been a gun, knowing her.

His handsome face lowered to her level, arms carved from steel caging her in on her chair, hot breath fanning her face, his grin was almost feral, but nothing in comparison to a certain Homunculus she knew.

The man’s voice was low, tantalizing, drawing her in with it’s rich, dark undertone filled with sinful promises, “The beautiful lady wanted a closer view?” he tilted his head curiously, the grin on his face and the look in his eyes telling her he knew exactly what she wanted. He almost had a roguish but boyish grin at the same time.

Gathering her courage, Lena tentatively ran her hand over his warm, muscled shoulder, feeling the flesh beneath her fingertips erupting into goosebumps when she ‘accidentally’ scratched him with her nail.

She fluttered her eyelashes innocently, giggling, “Oops, sorry,” despite the sultry undertone of her voice, her face was a flaming mess when he drew even closer to her, chuckling deeply.

“It’s alright, I like a few scratches here and there,” with a salacious wink, he pulled away and started sensually rotating his trim hips, turning around and flexing his torso for the ladies surrounding him.

Lena smirked when she noted the frown on the dark-haired man’s face looking at her from across the room, in his lap a beautiful, curvaceous woman.

Lena’s face transformed into indignation for a split second, until she forced a smile and slapped the handsome man’s ass shaking in front of her, a little too hard, judging by the surprised yelp from him. This time, she genuinely apologized, “Oh my god I’m so sorry!”

Laughing, the man turned towards her and growled playfully, “Like I said, I like it a little rough, little lady,” she giggled when he started dancing again and Lena enjoyed seeing the furious look on the other man’s face.

Greed seethed silently, completely tuning out the fact that a beautiful woman was moving on his lap, violet eyes fixed upon the ugly stripper and the blushing woman he was humping his ass into.

“Excuse _me_ ,” Greed turned his head in disinterest up at the stripper in his lap, who crossed her arms, “I aim to please, but not even I can perform miracles on the unwilling,” she gestured to his unimpressed state, particularly his lap, and pointed towards her colleagues, “If you rather swing that way, go ahead handsome,” she ran a hand along his cheek, “Such a shame it’s always the hot ones,” she rolled her eyes, sliding off his lap and returning back on stage.

Greed crossed his arms and fumed silently to himself, shooting quick, discreet glances in _her_ direction.

She was _enjoying_ it.

Greed’s jaw locked tight, “ _Oh no she didn’t-“_

Was that _his_ coupon she slid into that jackasses’ underwear?!

_That’s it!_

With a resolute shove and a murderous look in his eyes , Greed purposefully marched toward the group of women, until a hand stopped him, “Where do you think you’re going?”

This time, perhaps intending to invite all of the animal kingdom themed strippers tonight, a mouse-themed lady stood in front of him, wearing round greyish ears atop a lighter colored hair ending in waves over her bare shoulders. Her top, if one could call it that, consisted of small paw prints, black in color and small in size. She even had small _whiskers_ printed on the front of her barely-there underwear.

Greed rolled his eyes scathingly, “What do you want?” usually, in the olden days, Greed wouldn’t have hesitated in preying upon such ladies, he _was_ the sin of Greed after all, but…

A smile curled the woman’s pink lips, her voice a sensual purr more reminiscent of a cat than the rodent she was portraying, “I was looking for my partner, but it seems like I ran into the big bad wolf,” her hand slid down the length of his forearm, squeezing the muscle hidden by his shirt.

Greed internally cringed and felt shivers rushing up and down his spine, he could practically _feel her_ gaze on his back, _glaring_ at him, “Sorry, not interested, this bad wolf’s got a sheep to catch,”

The stripper was relentless, _just where did they get them,_ and stepped further into his path, an excited glint in her eyes, “Are you sure? I bet you can make me squeak really loud really quick!” her grin stretched her face, showing pearly white, almost too white teeth and Greed resisted the urge to just shove her aside.

He was a gentleman after all.

Instead, he leaned down to whisper close to her ear, “Listen hun, see that muscle packed hunk over there?” he had been around the opposite sex long enough to pick up on the ways they talked amongst themselves, whether that was a curse or not, he still thought about it.

The woman turned her head, spotting one of her male co-workers mooning a flustered brunette sitting on a chair, her lips stretched in a gleeful grin while women around her cheered and laughed, “Yeah, that’s David,” she shrugged nonchalantly.

Greed sighed, “Well, _David_ ’s the sheep,”

Realization colored her eyes then and a small smile played on her lips, more innocent in nature than her previous ones, “Oh, I see.” She giggled, patting his shoulder, her hand staying there a second too long, “Now I understand why you denied Foxy, almost nobody ever denies her, well except…men like you I suppose,” she giggled again, sighing airily as she walked away, “A bit of advice handsome hunk, he’s a bit into pain,” the remark thrown casually over her shoulder made Greed’s lips curl into a sadistic smirk.

“Heh, I was hoping to hear that,” he cracked his knuckles.

_Some time later…_

Lena shook her head, perched on a chair, drinking from her mug, “You’re grounded.”

The Homunculus still tied to the chair pouted angrily, “Why?! What did I do?”

Lena dryly held up a slip of paper in her hand, “This is the _fifth_ ban we received from a strip club!”

Greed snorted, “Hey, the first two were your fault,”

Lena sipped her tea silently, watching him.

Greed scoffed, “Alright, alright.” He rolled his eyes, “So, what? Strip clubs are out?” he arched a brow.

Lena’s gaze slid over the list in front of her on the kitchen table, grabbing a pencil and crossing out the word _strip clubs_ from the list, “Yup,” she sipped her tea again before setting the mug down, “Hmm…there are still theme parks, theaters, the cinema and…oh and Rush Valley!” she snickered, “We could pull some crazy stuff over at Garfiel’s when Winry’s on her break, what do you say destructive husband?”

Greed smirked saucily, “Sure thing, jealous wife,”

Lena scoffed, jotting Garfiel’s shop down, “You know, I’m still suspicious why all the stacked women go up to you,” she set the pencil down and crossed her arms, her wedding ring back in place.

Greed chuckled, “Hey, it’s not my fault I’m such a sexy badass.” His own expression mirrored her suspicious glare, “’Sides, that gay hunk today didn’t look like a scrawny stick either,”

Lena, despite her best efforts, giggled silently behind her hand, “Greed, he wasn’t _gay_ ,”

The Homunculus fixed her with a flat look, “You sure, sweets? Those strings he calls boxers flipped their shit when I came onto the scene,” he grinned like a maniac and laughed.

Lena rubbed her forehead, “That’s because you literally _jumped_ on him and threatened to cut off his family jewel’s if he didn’t and I quote: ‘ _Get the hell off my badass princess you banana swinging jackass! And give me back my coupons!’_ ” Lena burst out laughing at Greed’s annoyed look, sliding his feet on the floor like a child.

She stood up slowly, walking over to her bound husband and settling herself intimately on his lap.

Just seconds after, she jumped suddenly, her face a bright red, “A-already?” she looked down at the slightly flustered Homunculus, her eyes wide in awe.

Greed shifted uncomfortably, causing delicious friction between their bodies to make them both shiver in delight, his hands straining against the thick rope binding them together, “Can’t blame me with that little number you got on,” his eyes raked over her form appreciatively, watching the way the tight black dress accentuated the curve of her spine, rounding over a sizeable bottom which he just wanted to sink his teeth into.

“Stop that,” Greed shook his head from his reverie of his wife and looked up at her.

“What?” there was a teasing tilt to his voice.

Her voice was a slightly quivering mess, “T-thinking of biting me in the ass,” she shifted purposely and watched her husband’s eyes nearly cross.

“Damn it woman, just sit still or tonight’s gonna be over sooner before we even take off our shoes!” Lena laughed and leaned down, kissing Greed’s nose and forehead, before moving in to his lips, giggling into his mouth when he kissed her back eagerly.

She leaned away to breathe after a few seconds, “I like our games, they’re fun,”

Greed shot her a dark look, “Say that without getting ass-humped by some naked stranger,” she smoothed his spiky hair away from his face soothingly and lovingly pecked his lips.

“You know the only ass I wanna see is yours,” she smirked and dipped deeper, her teeth catching the soft flesh of his earlobe between them before she whispered heatedly, “Besides, you got a lap dance tonight. I think the score’s even,” her fingers trailed a dangerous path down his chest, taking the zipper to his vest with them, “Or maybe not. You got your coupons back too. Now…” her voice got slightly deeper, filled with sinful promises, as she slowly slid off his lap, her hands trailing even lower, her gaze never leaving his.

She licked her lips, “I want my free show tonight,”

Greed never felt as light headed as he did that night.

**Thanks for reading! :3**


End file.
